Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Guest Blog: Amon & Jayk


"I had piles of stuff to take care of at work: unfinished budget reports, new hires, outlines for future training sessions… Stuff I’d been trying to get through for weeks, but it seemed like for every project I finished, there were two new ones waiting for my attention.
 

I really didn’t have time for a freaky miracle."

--Amon,
Wacky Wednesday



Jayk: Hello, Jayk Parker here!

Amon: And Amon Monterey.

J: We’ve been invited onto this blog to talk about my new book—

A: Our new book.

J: That’s what I said. Our new book, Wacky Wednesday. It’s about this one craaaaazy day when Amon and I woke up in each other’s bodies and had to live each other’s lives for twenty-four hours. It was--

J: Awesome A: Terrifying.

J: Awesomely terrifying. Basically, how it started was, we were having some misunderstandings.

A: It was one of those rough patches every couple goes through.

J: Amon was freaking out about hiring someone new at work, so he was totally ignoring me all the time.

A: I was not totally ignoring you.

J: Totally. I’d ask him a question, and he’d stare right through me and kind of tilt his head like maybe he’d heard something but decided it was just the wind, and then he’d go make a spreadsheet—

A: It was nothing like that.

J: He locked me in a cupboard under the stairs, Harry Potter style. I was cold, I was hungry. I kept crying for help, and Amon wouldn’t let me out…

A: If I could be so lucky to have a stair cupboard to shut you in.

J: OMG. Mean!

A: For the record, this is all considerably exaggerated. I was under some stress at work, yes.

J: And I was starting my second semester at school. Well, third. I went for a semester when I was eighteen, but I dropped out. Now I’m back for round two. It suuuuuuuuucks.

A: You like school.

J: I like SOME THINGS about school.

A: Maybe I should preface all this by explaining that Jayk and I have a domestic discipline partnership.

J: He rules over our household with a mighty cane.

A: I do not cane you. Good lord, you’re going to give people the wrong idea.

J: Mighty paddle?

A: Better. But it’s mostly my mighty hand. And that is a very small part of the relationship.

J: The other part is where you whip me for fun.

A: The other part is where we incorporate BDSM elements into our mutually fulfilling and supportive partnership because the lifestyle satisfies a deep need in both of us.

J: What he said.

A: So we were going through a rough patch.

J: I was being a total brat.

A: Your methods of getting my attention were inventive.

J: And he was being a total prig.

A: I was attempting to provide the boundaries I thought you needed.

J: And then suddenly…pyew fwew pchiiiiiiiiing…

A: What is that?

J: That’s the sound of magic.

A: We still don’t know how it happened.

J: But we woke up and our bodies were switched. Suddenly I was this supertall, superbuilt forty-year-old—

A: You were not forty yet.

J: Thirty-nine point nine nine nine nine-year-old awesomely powerful financial executive.

A: And I was an extremely sexy—

J: Scrawny—

A: Beautiful—

J: I’m blushing.

A: College student.

J: College dropout.

A: College student. Who I happen to know just got the only A in his class on that lit final.

J: A first if ever there was one.

A: The first of many.

J: You're embarrassing me. So are we going to tell them what happened?

A: We shouldn’t give away too much. We want them to read the book.

J: True. But they should know there’s mayhem.

A: There’s me trying to ride a bike.

J: There’s Bernard Witmeyer.

A: Body Double.

J: Crab rangoon.

A: Miscalculations.

J: A dungeon party.

A: Enlightenment.

J: It was…

A: Wacky?

J: Exactly. It was one wacky hump day.

A: I’m impressed you managed to go that whole day without making a single hump day joke.

J: My self control is phenomenal. There was a lot of humping, though.

A: Take that look of your face.

J: What look?

A: That leer.

J: I’m not leering. I’m just, uh, ready for bed. Aren’t you? You look ready for bed.

A: I think you’re trying to manipulate me. And you know what I do to manipulative brats?

J: I hope it involves handcuffs and chocolate covered strawberries.

A: Not exactly.

J: Well, I’m going to tell all these fine people that if they read our book, I hope they enjoy it.

A: I second that.

J: Then I’m going to go upstairs and sprawl on the bed naked and just relax. Naked.

A: I’m going to run the dishwasher.

J: Amon. Can’t it wait?

A: Until what?

J: Until we’ve put the hump back in hump day?

A: If you don’t mind eating off the floor tomorrow when there aren’t enough clean plates.

J: Ooh. Hot.

A: Is this something we need to explore?

J: Maaaaybe.

A: Up to bed, soldier. March.

J: Sir, yes, sir. Goodnight everyone. Thanks for reading our post.

A: I’ll be up in a minute. Go on.

J: Listen, swat me and I swear I’ll—

A: Secretly enjoy it?

J: Yup.

A: All right, I'm signing off. But thank you all for reading. Jayk and I hope you enjoy Wacky Wednesday, the incredible, true tale of our body swap.

J: Seriously, total chaos. But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

A: You're still here.

J: I'm gonna help you with the dishes.

A: Isn't he the sweetest? I'd never lock him in a cupboard under the stairs.

J: I know you wouldn't. I'd never bury your toothbrush in the cat's litterbox. [pause] Again.

A: Thank God.

A: Goodnight. J: Goodnight!

Wacky Wednesday available May 22 from Loose Id.

4 comments:

  1. I finished reading By His Rules last night--in one sitting--and decided to drop by to see what else this new-to-me AMAZING fellow Loose Id author was up to. I'm glad I did! Wacky Wednesday is now on my must read list!

    Hugs,
    Tibby

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tibby, thanks so much! I have been yumming over the cover for Acting Out for several weeks now. I'm a total theater/movie geek, so I'm very excited to read it.

    Thanks for stopping by.

    Best,

    J.A.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I adored this, it's a lovely post . Can't wait for this book to come out, it's sounds like a scream.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks Josie. I hope you enjoy the book.

    Best,
    J.A.

    ReplyDelete