Wednesday, January 23, 2013

This Week in Dragonisms

Another round of mishaps in my ever volatile relationship with Dragon Naturally Speaking Voice Activated Software (11.0). Dragon and I were working on my new novel The Subs Club one night, and I wondered: would Dragon be able to handle the intricacies of a laundry room sex scene involving clothespins, a butt plug, and a tub of Vicks?

Spoiler alert: No.

Here are some of my fav mistranslations:

What Dragon Wrote: But with a perfect rhythm, I soon realized. The rhythm of stalking.
What I Actually Said: ...the rhythm of fucking.

WDW: until the blues craze the base of the plug. 
WIAS: until the blows grazed the base of the plug

WDW: And then sent me his arms around me, and his palace pressed against my ass. I whimpered as Hume ran is cock against the base of the log. 
WIAS: And then he put his arms around me, and his pelvis pressed against my ass. I whimpered as he rammed his cock against the base of the plug.

WDW: As I attended, he reached up and benched my aching goals. 
WIRS: I don't know what I said for "as I attended", but the second part was definitely "reached up and pinched my aching nipples." Dragon had sports on the brain.

WDW: and made a casual crap for my arm 
WIAS: and made a casual grab for my arm.

WDW: and without any notable rank or more excitement, spread some monster my cock. I squirmed and teared up as the birth started.
WIAS: and without any notable rancor or excitement, spread some onto my cock. I squirmed and teared up as the burn started.

WDW: and proceeded to clean up wages by Jews as quickly as I could
WIAS: and proceeded to clean up my jizz as quickly as I could

Wages by Jews is totally my new super bourgie indie folk band name.

Thanks, Dragon.


4 comments:

  1. ROFLMAO - "wages by Jews" and "As I attended, he reached up and benched my aching goals."

    This is beautiful! Can't wait to read the book. You became an auto buy author for me after reading Calling the Show.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Tina!

      I feel like "benched my aching goals" is a euphemism I could actually use. So, for that matter, is "his palace."

      So glad you enjoyed Calling the Show!

      Best,

      J.A.

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  2. Well of course you teared up once he birth started...it's the casual crap for the arm that worries me.

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    Replies
    1. Casual craps are rough on everyone.

      And who the hell is Hume?

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