Saturday, August 3, 2013

Domestic Discipline Week: An Introduction

Hi, and welcome to Domestic Discipline Week. I know domestic discipline is not everyone’s thing, either to read about or to practice. But it’s one of my favorite things to write about. So I thought maybe I could host a week where we all just sit down and talk about DD. Why it scares us if it scares us. Why it excites us if it excites us. What it actually is, and how it differs from BDSM, or D/s, or other letters.

I also thought we could have this week during Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. Because if there’s anything I love more than writing about domestic discipline, it’s learning about sharks. All of my guests this week, in addition to answering questions about domestic discipline, have contributed some thoughts on sharks. For indulging me in this, I love them all the more.

So tomorrow, we kick off Domestic Discipline Week with an interview with Cara Bristol, author of the Rod & Cane Society Series. And Shark Week kicks off tomorrow night at 9 pm EST with Megaladon: Monster Shark Lives. I don’t really see how August 4th can get any better.

But before we start DD Week, some thoughts.

Most of my books contain DD relationships. By His Rules, the Wacky Wednesday series, and "The Brat Whisperer" are all about DD couples, and even Lisa Henry’s and my novel The Good Boy features two side characters in a DD relationship.

DD has fascinated me for a long time. It’s a lifestyle choice that I respect as long as it’s done safely and consensually, and I think there’s something really beautiful about the trust and communication it involves. I’m not without my qualms about it, and I think my qualms are similar to a lot of people’s. On the surface, it can look pretty un-egalitarian. I think a lot of people, even if they’d never want to practice it, can at least wrap their minds around the idea of erotic BDSM—because the spanking, the bondage, the bootlicking, the Ma'am-ing and Sir-ing…all of that is done for the sexual gratification of both parties.

But what happens when partners enter into a relationship where the spankings aren’t for pleasure? Where one partner has leave to punish another for certain behaviors or actions, and the punishment isn’t fun for the receiver? I can absolutely see why this makes some people nervous. We’re taught that partners in relationships are equals. That using the threat of physical pain to enforce compliance is abusive. That one partner should never control the other, unless it’s a game both partners enjoy.

But what I hope to show this week is that DD isn’t about control, or abuse, or pain. It’s a lifestyle that works well for some people and would never even be an option for others. I want to encourage as much dialogue on the subject as possible. Any opinions on DD are welcome as long as they’re expressed respectfully. I mean that. So if you love DD, if you’re creeped out by it, if you don’t understand it, if you’ve lived in a DD relationship for the last 20 years…you’re all welcome here.

Here’s what I have for you this week:

1. Interviews and giveaways with authors who write and/or read DD, plus an interview with a real life D/s couple who practice elements of DD
2. Games. Spanking wordsearch anyone?
3. Excerpts from guest authors, featuring discipline scenes
4. Pictures of and random factoids about sharks

The purpose of this week isn’t necessarily to defend DD or sing its praises. It’s just to talk about it. I have a lot of questions about it too, and this week gave me an opportunity to ask some of them to my guests. Please, please feel free to comment on any and all of the posts this week. Together we’ll try to get to the bottom of why people love and hate DD.

Are you ready? 

Guests and prizes:

8/4 – Interview and Giveaway with Cara Bristol
8/5 – Interview and Giveaway with Fabian Black
8/6 – Interview and Giveaway with Pauline Allan
8/7 – Interview with D/s couple Michelle and John
8/8 – Interview and Giveaway with Lori Toland
8/9 – Interview and Giveaway with Kay Berrisford
8/10 – Guest post and Giveaway with Lisa Henry

Check out the DD Week Q&A page for more info on what DD is and how it's different from D/s.