If you’re not excited about TBWB yet, can I try to entice you? New Mr. Zimmerman-isms? Check. Brin and Ferg and tiny bondage elves? Check. A little breath play? Maaayyybe. Laura Moredock trying to manipulate everyone around her? Oh yeah. Get ready to deck the halls with boughs of angst (don’t worry—there are fun parts too) in about two weeks!
In other news, Lisa Henry and I met on her turf last week. A weird thing happened when I sat down at my blog today and tried to do my usual Australia-mocking and that thing where I accuse Lisa of perpetrating injustices against my person. It’s like, I’ve had such a good time in Australia, and Lisa was such a good host during the few days I stayed with her, that I can’t even bring myself to invent a version of events that allows me to play the victim of Lisa and her country’s cruelty.
I mean, the wine flowed, the Magnum bars were plentiful—Lisa did make me hold a crocodile, but it was only a little one, and she also made me look at big ones and one tried to attack a tourist through the fence, but I wasn’t the tourist, so I guess that’s okay—I got to cook Thanksgiving (and forgot to explain to Lisa’s family the part where you go around and say what you’re thankful for. We just ate.), and we brainstormed two new books, including one that will either be a sheer delight or cause all of you to disown us. It’s hard to tell just yet. Oh, and we saw a kangaroo that punched ducks, and I got my obligatory tourist photo cuddling a koala.
In short, I can’t really find much to complain about in Australia, except the word “doona”. Even my reef dive was successful (saw a shark. Mission afuckingccomplished). I did encounter some rapist dolphins, but I was safely on the boat at the time.
Fine, Australia. Well played. I’ll be flying back to the U.S. using a cape I made out of an Australian flag, singing “I Still Call Australia Home”. I EVEN LIKE HOW THE NOTES ARE DIFFERENT COLORS AND I DON'T EVEN MIND CALLING THEM NOTES.
Thank you, Lisa. And your country. I look forward to seeing you in America someday. I will make you hold a bear.